when i said to the proposal, knowing that he was not the guy i wanted, i realized that it was the first time i was making a compromise with my self, my life. the family was pleased that i said yes. i too rejoiced in their happiness and went through the motions of the coy bride to be.

but god has this amazing style of catching up with you. i am talking of days when i was a rotten kid who back-answered my parents and thought i was absolutely brilliant. in short, i was a complete , pompous disaster. yet, in spite, of it, god sent me the olive branch in the form of my brother. some 14-15 days to go before this marriage and my brother took it upon himself to explain what the groom's family were demanding and how dad and mom were trying to keep sane. dowry and for me?


i simply reacted. quietly without much fuss. when murali came to see me that day - it was supposed to be one more outing before the marriage - he found me dirty and in my train clothes! even before he could start his romantic spiel, i spoke my mind and vented my fury on him. a scientist he was, so was his father and then wanted dowry??

no amount of explanations, pleadings, cajoling helped. i sent him packing. my mom and brother came in later and i calmly spoke of my decision not to go ahead with the marriage. my mom was aghast! what will people say? how will i lead my life now? this was in 1991 when society had this cruel control over everybody's psyche. more on this later.